I’m talking about strippers—women who make their rent money by dirty dancing for horny guys. What is it with them? How do they achieve the kind of confidence that radiates sexiness so effortlessly? Is it the seven-inch clear plastic Barbie shoes?

Well, kind of. The truth is, there’s a real aesthetic to strip-club costumes, and every working girl worth her stage fee knows how to dress to minimize her figure flaws and maximize her income.

For instance, clear plastic shoes show off your toenail polish and go with everything, but if you have cellulite, wear dark, thigh-high stockings instead. Either way, seven-inch heels will make your legs look long and lean—just make sure the heels are stiletto-style, not chunky. Men love to watch women dance in shoes that resemble medieval torture devices, so wise strippers choose teeteringly-high footwear that would make even the bravest podiatrist weep. If you can’t walk in high-heeled sandals, try boots: the extra ankle support can be helpful, and you’ll look as lithe and sinuous as Catwoman.

The best accessory for seven-inch stiletto heels? Savvy lap-dancers know the answer is socks—knee-high, over-the-knee, or anklet, customers love socks on sexy women almost as much as they love their Iron Maiden footwear. Sure, you haven’t worn knee socks since the sixth grade, and the idea of pairing wooly socks and strappy evening sandals would give Tim Gunn a brain embolism—but the strip club aesthetic isn’t about elegance, it’s about a certain homespun playfulness. The sock-and-heel combo is disarmingly tacky—besides, socks keep your cold toes nice and cozy and can cover up a botched pedicure.

In the alternate reality of the strip club world, a scarf is never worn around the neck or over your head to keep warm in bad weather. No—a scarf is actually a skirt, albeit a very abbreviated one. Just tie the scarf around your hips pirate-style, let the fringe hang down temptingly, and remember: one untied knot gets you naked from the waist down. There’s nothing sexy about struggling with a series of hooks, straps, and buttons—stripper apparel is all about convenience and effortless nudity. When you only have a three-minute song to strip to onstage, every moment counts.

Finally, pantyhose. No, don’t wear them on your legs, Ms. Corporate CEO—cut the feet off and the cotton gusset out of the crotch, making a head-size hole. Then turn the de-footed pantyhose upside down—and voila, you have a naughty see-through long-sleeved mesh shirt! Put your head through the hole in the crotch and your arms through each pantyhose leg, and make sure the seams are straight, front and back. A million strippers can’t be wrong: men love looking at boobs through tight, sheer fabric. Why pay top dollar at the goth shop in your local mall when you can make your own see-through shirt out of a pair of L’Eggs?

Dressing like a stripper isn’t just about looking hot, it’s about looking fun and approachable. After all, it isn’t the most beautiful girl in the strip club who makes the most money—it’s the confident, smiling dancer in the homemade costume who ends up earning her rent in one shift. Sure, you may not want to wear a gauzy scarf that just barely covers your ass to the grocery store—but in the boudoir, cribbing a few working-girl pro tips may be just the ticket.

written by Sarah L.

A stiff drink was totally the answer. As I was sitting at the bar of a local pub, I realized the cute bartender looked awfully familiar. This is always the danger when you’re back in the neighborhood in which you grew up. But I couldn’t put my finger on it.

Nooo, I told myself. It can’t be Chubby Charlie, the fat kid from school. Because he sure as hell isn’t chunky anymore. The guy has some serious guns now. And a great smile with one little dimple.

Then he saw me checking him out. “You’re not Chubby Charlie, are you?” I blurted out.

“I was Chubby Charlie,” he said with an air of confidence. “But not anymore,” he added, as he winked at me.

“You look great,” I told him, in the most casual tone possible.

“And you’re Lisa, right?” he asked. “The skinniest girl in grade school.”

Yep, that was me—scrawny, late-blooming Lisa.

“Well,” he said, looking down at my chest and raising his eyebrows, “it looks like you’re fat in all the right places now.”

I felt my face go red. Usually, these sorts of comments completely turn me off. But it was cute coming from Chubby Charlie.

We talked about the people we knew and what happened to them. Before I knew it hours had passed. I looked at my watch and said, “Shit, I better get home before my mom finds out that I’m gone and calls the police.”

He teased, “Are you out past curfew?”

“It’s worse than that,” I said without explaining.

“I’m off tomorrow night,” said Charlie. “Why don’t you come over and, uh, check out old photos or something after your mom’s party?”

“I better do that if you’re such an avid scrapbooker,” I replied, as I grabbed his number.

Besides, you should discuss with your partner when setting up the rules. What I mean here is discussion, but not bargaining. You are not trying to buy something from a hawker and there is no point to bargain. You have to listen to what your partner says when he / she talks. Most of the time we will not listen and we are only trying to express what we think. You should totally avoid this when you are having the discussion with your partner.

You should also be honest during the discussion. Of course you also have to tell your partner to be honest. Hiding the true feelings will just ruin the experience of swinging.

When you are actually setting the rules, you need to consider a lot of issues. You need to think about yourself and your partner at the first place. The very first thing is that both of you and your partner should be comfortable with the idea of swinging since both of you will be going to seeking for sexual pleasure from other people.

Then you should also think about yourself. You need to make sure that you will be comfortable with it when you know that your partner is going to give sexual pleasure to other people. This is very important. We have to admit that we may have some kind of jealousy in our heart. You should also make sure that you have the interest in having sex with other people.

One last rule you should set is that both of you should practice safe sex. You do not want to be infected with STDs because of swinging right?

After every time you have swinging experience, you have to discuss with your partner about that. Is there any moment that make you feel uncomfortable? Do both of you enjoy the experience? Are there ways to improve the experience? You should ask yourself all these questions.